Tentative

I'm tentatively considering beginning to blog regularly again.

But first I want to set the record for longest period between posts. I don't think I'm even close but this is rediculous nonetheless.

I had a pretty "OK" day, and I came to two realizations:

1. When the apocolypse happens, I will be happy. Not for religious reasons, but because I will finally be able to rest.

2. I still don't really know how a FUPA even happens.

Let me know if you get this post, otherwise I will probably set up shop elsewhere.

Goodbye!

The Top Ten

So, this is what everyone has been waiting for. My Top Ten. My Top Ten Movies Of All Time. Everyone has a top ten list, and though naturally it changes there certainly is a small and flexible list of movies which are always thought of as "the best". Oddly, there's something more powerful about seeing those movie at the top of a list which makes 'em seem even better. Like if Rolling Stone had the top 3 love songs of all time, that'd be interesting. But, those songs would seem even cooler if they were at the top of the top 2000 love songs of all time. Why is this? Probably has something to do with comprehensiveness. The larger the list, the more sure you can be that nothing has been left out, and the rankings are, therefore, all the more accurate.

I have been delaying for awhile.

Before I get started on my Top Ten, let us have a little recap:

795 (last). All Dogs Go To Heaven
700. Drive Me Crazy
600. Rush Hour 2
500. Money Train
400. Twister
300. Closer
200. Superman
100. Pirates of the Caribbean
75. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
50. Spider-Man 2
25. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Now, perhaps you are kinda back in "Alex's Movies" mode. Obviously, since its taken me so long to release my list, I've seen and added movies to the list that came in behind where I currently was on the unveiling so....recent additions:

794. Caligula
Would be worst of all time if not for a gimmick.
779. The Forgotten
Oh, my, god.
605. Lost Highway
David Lynch gets on my nerves.
599. Spanglish
Too many interesting characters which didn't go anywhere.
593. The Phantom of the Opera
Lost my remote during this movie...it was in the chair.
519. Space Cowboys
Really, Clint, really?
442. Spy Game
Average.
391. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Grace thought that cast was terrible. I thought they were great. Everything else "blah". Read the book (a trilogy in 5 parts).
380. The Contender
Jeff Bridges plays the best fictional american president ever.
338. Blade Runner
Excellent imagry.
300. Closer
No one got pregnant? STDs?
299. Dazed and Confused
Too much Ben Ass-Lick.
298. Dead Ringers
Jeremy Irons plays twin creepy gynecologists.
286. Wedding Crashers
Love Vince Vaughn. Hate Owen Wilson's nose. Weak second half. Otherwise very funny.
248. School of Rock
Alright, alright. Jack Black is funny.
205. Team America
Watched this with my parents. Guess which scene my dad thought was funniest?
186. War of the Worlds
If you didn't hear from Jake's or Grace's blog...I watched this by myself while Grace caught the bouquet at her friend's wedding.
163. Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events
I love kid's movies.
134. Following
Solid Chris Nolan pic.
119. Star Wars: Episode III
Just 'cuz of The Duel.
106. Batman Begins
I can't even imagine how actual readers of the comic must finally feel.
91. The Motorcycle Diaries
They still had leper colonies that late in to the 60s?
86. Taxi Driver
Would've been higher without tacked on ending.
80. Million Dollar Baby
Didn't expect to really like this one. Wow.
24. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Somehow I forgot this the first time around.

This whole project has taught me alot about my taste in movies. I used to think that I was different and unique, that I liked weirdo movies and independent cinema and that the lemmings around me couldn't do anything but chortle at the crap thrown at them by huge corporate movie houses.

I am a lemming. I tried to be as honest with myself as possible when making these rankings. It was very hard sometimes. As we all know, sometimes, you just can't compare two movies. But, I did the best I could. Guess what I found out? I'm not as independent or special as I thought I would be. Guess what else? I'm ok with that. I like the movies I like, and I dislike the movies I dislike. I don't always have to be different. Sometimes I am, but often my tastes are in line with the mainstream. (Whatever that is.) This whole process has taken awhile. Think: I started making this list last December. That's 9 months from inception to conclusion. Of course its not really done, I will continue adding to this list as long as Xcel is not obsolete. Anyway, thanks for tagging along, thanks for caring, and thanks for sticking with me as the delays started to mount. I hope you like the finale.

I thought I would have a lot to say about these movies: After all, they are my TOP TEN. But, I've put it off, feeling that I wouldn't have anything unique or original to say, and that, frankly, most of the top ten's would be so rated for similar reasons. That being the case, I've devised a little checklist of attributes with which to analyze each movie:

1. Life-Changing: Did the movie alter my thinking? Did I obsess over it? Did I reexamine my movie-preferences based on it?

2. Firsts: Did it do something which I'd never seen before? Was it the "first" of a particular genre that I saw and loved? Was it so steeped in originality that sequels and/or remakes could never compete?

3. Classic: Is it a movie that I've loved for as long as I can remember? Do I not even remember seeing it for the first time, its just always been something I've known?

4. Standout Aspect: Is there one piece of the experience which is so overwhelmingly great that it thrusts the film into revered status?

5. Watchability: Is this movie endlessly watchable despite the absence of any obvious visceral stimulation?

6. Wildcard: You name it.

*Deep Breath* Ok....

10. Star Wars (1977) D: George Lucas

Life-Changing: Actually...not really. I never got into dressing up as characters or anything like that.
Firsts: Nothing to report here either. Sorry.
Classic: Absolutely. Almost the archetypal classic movie. I've never seen this movie for the first time. Its almost as if the story was always in my head. Higher praise for a film, I can not give. This undoubtedly has a lot to do with the quintessential characters Lucas parades on film: The Dark Villain, The Wise Mentor, The Innocent Hero, The Best Friend, The Princess. We can find similar roles fleshed out in various ways in movies since the dawn of ... um, the 19th century, but where Lucas succeeded was taking these common roles and placing them in extremely uncommon situations. Deep Space with aliens, cool weapons, warp speed, etc...Its Shakespeare meets Flash Gordon. Its Dante meets Verne. Its History meets Recess...and that's why it was so popular. It tapped in to our common consciousness of "good stories", but made them really goddamn cool.
Standout Aspect: No, at least not in the same sense as you'll see with others.
Watchability: Star Wars is certainly watchable. I have a Star Wars jones about every other month. Just an uncontrollable urge to watch every single one back-to-back-to-back (and I guess now...to-back-to-back-to-back). BUT....fuck it. No buts. This movie is VERY Watchable.
Wild Card: Darth Vader. Even before the sequels, and the prequels, Darth Vader represented one of the most compelling and mysterious villains of recent cinema (E-town will surely point me to Apocolypse Now). We didn't learn anything about him. Just that he is more machine than man, and that he killed Luke's father. How captivating is that? After that one meeting in Obi-Wan's hut, millions have waited for Episode III. And knowing what you know now about Vader, remember what it was like when all you knew was that he betrayed and killed the Jedi Order. You thirsted for more information. You felt it in your gut, and when a movie invokes that sort of passion...well, you're certain to find it on a Top Ten list somewhere.

Performance to Savor: Alec Guiness
Memorable Moment: Double Sunrise

9. Pi (1998) D: Darren Aronofsky

Life-Changing: Umm...no
Firsts: Schindler's List was the first modern movie I saw in Black and White
Classic: Nope
Standout Aspect: Editing. I know a lot of people are/were (I just can't decide which tense to be in. Deal with it.) put off by his rapid-fire quick-cuts. Endlessly reshowing the similar shots of popped pills and dilating veins are certainly a result of the MTV-era, but also a perfection of it. Aronofsky knows when to let scenes breath, and when to use the medium of quick-cut to invoke a real reaction in the viewer about the psychological disturbances present in our main character
Watchability: Well, its never on TNT, and few people own it, so you'll be hard-pressed to stumble across it. Anyway, no...not that watchable.
Wildcard: Pi. As in the number pi. Y'know, 3.1415927... Circles, circumferences, and all that jazz. This movie is unique to my "revered" movies in that its status is almost all Wildcard. For those of you math-types, you'll understand my amazement at Pi. Its irrational (can't be expressed as a ratio of two integers), transcendental (can't be the root of any polynomial with rational coefficients), and yet it is so simple. I did a project on Pi in college, and encountered a bit of it in my Capstone, and the more you know....the more you want to know. It is a carrot on the end of strings, just out of reach. We are always finding new and exciting uses for Pi, and yet we can never quite capture its essence, its meaning....anything. That's what this movie did so well. It protrayed the power of Pi, as well as the futility of trying to contain it, to control it. Certainly a flawed movie, but it has a special place in my heart.

Performance to Savor: Mark Margolis
Memorable Moment: Powerdrill

8. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) D: Frank Darabont

Life-Changing: Nah, I didn't even see this in the theater. Probably the highest movie on the list which I saw on TV first, then rented the cassette.
Firsts: None here either, though you could argue that this is the first successful adaptation of a Stephen King story into film format.
Classic: No
Standout Aspect: No
Watchability: This is where Shawshank really shines. How could you not watch this movie all day? And yet, the very fact that you can is a testament to the power of not only the story, but the acting and pacing as well. Y'see...not much happens. Everything develops slowly over the course of 25 years. We are given brief glimpses of action and violence, but it is mostly voice-over and Tim Robbins speaking slowly. In many movies, all of this would repel me as considerable pretense, but here...the slowness adds weight to the endlessness of prison. The bulk of time adds considerable depth to the bond between Red and Andy, and while I have no experience, I imagine that prison life is much like the movie: Dull, monotonous days, staccato-punched by violence. Andy's various triumphs are mini-victories throughout the movie, but really, nothing holds a candle to the look on the Warden's face when the rock he throws at Andy's poster hits nothing but air.
Wildcard: Morgan Freeman's voiceover. Truly the one voice in hollywood which will always work as a voiceover. Look at War of the Worlds. Shouldn'tve worked. Did. His voice is so soft, yet tinged with wear and tear. Its like he is unimaginably sad, but he's holding his head high, and getting about his business.

Performance to Savor: Clancy Brown
Memorable Moment: Andy gets "suds" for the guys

7. The Silence of The Lambs (1991) D: Jonathan Demme

Life-Changing: Nuh-uh.
Firsts: Nope
Classic: Not really in the same sense as the boy-movies on this list. Star Wars, etc...
Standout Aspect: Hoo-boy. Can you guess? Suprisingly, Anthony Hopkins only appears in about twenty minutes of this movie (an oft-quoted fact), but didn't it just shock you when you first heard that? You thought to yourself, "that doesn't seem right." And yet...it is such a bravado performance, so delightfully over the top, so juicy. Hopkins performance is completely magnetic, drawing all peripheral interest too him. To illustrate the power of this role, consider: how many cannibal fucked-up murderers do you root for.?We want Lecter to escape. We want to watch him work, because deep down, we harbor the same emotions. He doesn't kill at random. He is methodical and plotting, and in the end, a gentleman. He'll prey on scum, using their weaknesses against them, playing out every sick fantasy we've all had.
Watchability: You wouldn't really think it...but it is. Especially if you flip to it on AMC right about the part where Lecter is escaping from the high-security Memphis prison. The way he completely befuddles an entire frickin' army of law enforcement is amazing to watch.
Wildcard: Jame Gum. He's the sicko-freak that you are used to seeing in movies. Perverted, dispicable...you hate him. What's interesting here is the duality between Lecter and Gum. Essentially, both are the same criminal. They've murdered (relatively) innocent people for reasons that they consider fully justified. They are exceedingly clever and ruthless. Why is it that we like Lecter and abhor Gum. Part may have something to do with the abscence of Lecter's crimes on screen, but also because we can identify more directly with Lecter's motives than Gum's.

Performance to Savor: Anthony Hopkins
Memorable Moment: Hannibal's escape

6. Pulp Fiction (1994) D: Quentin Tarantino

Life Changing: Not in that special kind of way, but it did represent one of the...whoops, next section.
Firsts: Perhaps not quite as cool as "First Comedy" or "First R-rated" or something like that, but this is the first movie that I just loved that wasn't a comedy or action. I saw this a few years after it was released ('96 or so) and for the first time, I was really able to appreciate the cinematic wonder of sharp dialogue. Perhaps Clerks would've been ranked higher had I seen it before Pulp Fiction, because we've seen how my movie lists are based on order. Is that fair? Probably not. But, really, its not all that unusual. First kiss, first car, first whatever...always more memorable. So, is the only reason I like Pulp Fiction more than Resevoir Dogs because I saw it first? Yup. Which isn't, of course to take anything away from Fiction, it is a superbly acted and written movie.
Classic: Some would say it is. I say no. In my setup, classic really only refers to movies which I saw very early on in life, and were imprinted on my brain. I didn't think about them as being my favorite movies, because I assumed they were everyone's favorite movie. So, no, not Pulp Fiction.
Standout Aspect: See the "firsts" section. The writing (and subsequently, delivery) is second-to-none. Oft-imitated, never-duplicated. I think the level of work presented here is one reason why I don't like movies whose chronology is non-linear, and which feature a bevy of actors (see: 13 Conversations About the Same Thing). It is so well done here that it quite frankly ruins it for all others. Thankfully this is a very specific genre, so ALL dramas are not ruined.
Watchability: Excellent. It is quite difficult to edit this movie for TV-appropriateness, which is why you'll rarely come across it on the boob-tube. But I did once, and for the first time ever, I realized that I liked the movie, and wanted to see it, so I turned off the TV and put in the DVD. Due to the linked (but not crucially so) assortment of scenes, it is possible to enter the movie at any time and still enjoy the remainder. This feature makes the film highly rewatchable.
Wildcard: Many movie directors feature common threads through some or all of their movies. Few are more obvious than Kevin Smith's View Askewniverse. QT has a similar thread between Pulp and Dogs. Mr. Blonde and Vince Vega are brothers, and some have speculated that the glowing suitcase is full of the diamonds stolen in Dogs. Granted, this isn't a huge link, but I really like picking up on things like that.

Performance to Savor: Samuel L. Jackson
Memorable Moment: Butch goes back for this watch

5. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) D: Steven Spielberg

Life Changing: Not especially so. I saw this when I was uber-young, so I didn't have much to change!
Firsts: Other than (presumably) being one of the first movies I ever saw...not really.
Classic: With Star Wars this is THE reason why Raiders is in my top ten. Being born in the 80s means that my formative years were spent in the shadow of iconic characters such as the Predator, John Matrix, Luke, Darth Vader, and...Indiana Jones. I've touched on him a bit before, with the other movies, so I won't go into incredible detail. Jones is such a classic movie hero that all of his movies are bound to be ranked highly. That last sentence could also be interpreted as saying that Jones is a movie hero in the classic sense. The movies are set in the 30s and 40s which is the classic Golden Age of American Cinema. Spielberg taps into that sense of old-time americana with this movie. Regarded (and rightfully so) as the best of the Indiana Jones trilogy, and perhaps because it presented a hero who's cinematic heirs are Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart. A hero who is more dash than dumb, more brains than brawn, and still able to kick ass when necessary.
Standout Aspect: Not really.
Watchability: You try hearing the opening bars of the Main Theme and not stay for the rest of the movie.
Wildcard: The scenes of travel, how they play soft interlude music and show a red line extending from city to city is just timeless.

Performance to Savor: Harrison Ford
Memorable Moment: The opening of the Ark

4. The Matrix (1999) D: The Wachowski Brothers

Life Changing: Hmm...in a way, I suppose. How influential was this movie? It didn't exactly change "my" life, but it did alter the direction of cinema. Not severely, but enough. Sure the presentation is completely lifted from other sources (but everything is), but how many "bullet time" action sequences were audience subjected to following the release of this movie? Tons, and while not all were bad, none were that great. Certainly not as memorable as those in The Matrix. I remember when my friend Eli saw this movie. After the opening sequence he says, calmly, "That was the coolest opening sequence I have ever seen." And he's right. It was pretty f-ing cool.
Firsts: Lots of new stuff here, but nothing that I would classify as a "first".
Classic: Wait 30 years.
Standout Aspect: Special Effects. Undeniably so. I feel kinda dumb for having a movie ranked this high based solely on special effects. But, how could I deny it? Thankfully, the quality of the film doesn't rest solely on the unbelievable visual wizardry, but also the relatively deep philosophical ideas on screen (I'm waiting for Brian and Aaron to begin lecturing on how the philosphy of The Matrix is sophomoric and pedantic (like I even know what those words mean.)). The Matrix represents the perfect blend of style and substance to which all future movies will be held. Certainly many will be more intellectual and thought-provoking, but will they also revolutionize the visual effects industry. Many many movies will come with more jaw-dropping effects, but will they turn an entire nation on to Eastern Thought? Another amazing thing about The Matrix is that it came out of nowhere. Absolute left-field. It was directed by two weirdo brothers whose previous effort Bound was a noir-ish lesbian gangster movie. And the advertising campaign was brilliant. I was completely begging for this movie when it came out, and I didn't even really know why.
Watchability: As with many an action movie this is a fairly easy to watch film. Although it is on TBS a little too much. So far there is only one movie in my life that I could watch every day. Just One.
Wildcard: Normally special effects would be more of a wildcard aspect, but I've already devoted enough time to them.

Performance to Savor: Hugo Weaving
Memorable Moment: "My name...is Neo!"

3. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1989) D: Terry Gilliam

Life Changing: My love affair with kids movies is well documented. Perhaps that it is because I am creepy. Perhaps I wasn't given enough love as a child...or the wrong kind of love. But I think that I love kids movies because of the deep and lasting imprint that this movie made on me. In fact, I would say that much of my movie preferences are based on this film. Weird, eccentric, unique (though still fairly corporate). If there was one movie which I feel best describes my taste in movies, this would have to be it.
Firsts: Not much really. The first movie I played (and in constant rotation) at the video store I worked at in high school. Which makes sense, its the highest ranked movie which would be appropriate for playing in a video store. Interestingly enough, when I began working at Hollywood Stars this movie had been rented 1 time in the previous year. Over the course of the summer it rented at least ten times. When I played it on the big screen, I was never able to finish it. Somebody would always get stucking watching it and end up renting it. And we only had one copy.
Classic: I've wrestled with whether or not to make this a classic movie. On the one hand its not one of those "favorite movies of mine which I assume are everyone else's favorites as well" a la Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark, but on the other hand, I've always liked it, I can't ever remember not having seen it. So...yes, it is a classic in my book.
Standout Aspect: Nothing like Anthony Hopkins or Bullet-Time
Watchability: Like I said, I had this on constant rotation at H. Stars. The story, the songs, the fairy-tale cinematography, everything about this movie is instantly absorbable (not sure what that means). What's especially important is that despite the fact that its a "family" film, there are certainly adult themes present. Death, love, loss...innuendo also abounds. We are also given mini-critiques of: war, governmental involvement, history and art. There is plenty to chew on, but not enough to overpower the film.
Wildcard: Sarah Polley in, I think, her first major starring role. She is an adorable little girl who manages to hold her own against John Neville, Oliver Reed, Robin Williams, Uma Thurman, Eric Idle, and Johnathan Pryce. Also, love the representation of the Fastest Man in the World, the Strongest Man in the World, the Man with the Best Vision and Hearing, and a Midget Who Can Wipe Out Armies With His Lungs.

Performance to Savor: John Neville
Memorable Moment: Descent from the moon

2. Jurassic Park (1993) D: Steven Spielberg

Life Changing: What I am about to write could appear either here, or in the "Firsts" section, as this was the first movie to completely change my life. I mean, it reordered my existence. The way I felt about movies was fundamentally altered by this movie. The ranking of Jurassic Park is the prime example of how movies which I saw and loved at a young age will often get higher rankings than movies I saw and loved more recently. Perhaps that is because they made an impression on me when I was most impressionable, or they are movies which have stood the test of time. In either case it doesn't really matter.
Firsts: Jurassic Park was the first movie I was ever obsessed with. Complete obsession. I bought the soundtrack and listened to the movie music every night before sleep. I couldn't stop talking about it with my friends. My peechees and other assorted school supplies all had JP motifs. I read the book immediately after watching the movie. I was convinced that a local video store was selling it on VHS 6 months before I expected it to be out, so I made my parents take me over there. I found out that they were simply selling pre-orders of the movie, and of course I bought one. First movie that I saw in the theater twice. First time feeling genuinely scared in a movie. First time trying to dress like a character from a movie (Alan Grant). First time asking a middle-school math teacher about math ideas presented in a book and having her not know what I was talking about. I watched it for the second time with my dad, and he liked it. Unfortunately I didn't have a similar experience with my mom. While we were watching it (on my worn out VHS copy) we recieved news that my Gramma Weezie (her mother) had died. Now my mom can't encounter anything Jurassic Park related without getting sad.
Classic: Hm....I'm somwhat torn. I clearly remember the first time I saw it (with Ben and his Mom at Eastgate Plaza in Portland), which somewhat eliminates it from classic-status as I've defined it. On the other hand...I LOVED this movie. Thinking, thinking....gotta say, doesn't feel like a classic. Sorry.
Standout Aspect: Normally I reserve this place for a standout aspect which is the reason for the high ranking. Well, the high ranking here is based on my early obsessions, but otherwise the movie still would've been ranked high because of the: Dinosaurs! Computer Effects were still young in '93, but Dennis Muran, Stan Winston, etc...managed to digitize the prehistoric creatures with amazing precision. The quality of their work is comparable to current movies. It helps that they took the time to also interject full-size puppets, and that the actual dino-shots take up very little of the actual movie (Hannibal Lecter Syndrome). But, the staging of the dinosaurs with the human actors is very well done. The raptor scene in the kitchen with the kids is one of the most genuinely tense scenes in movie cinema.
Watchability: Actually, not as watchable as some other movies. First, it is somewhat tainted by my complete obsession with it. With anything, overuse can make things stale, and that may have happened here. I can watch the movie just fine, and like it, but it brings back such powerful feelings of nostalgia that almost get in the way. Second, it didn't get me as bad as my mom, but I remember clearly learning of my Gramma Weezie's death during this movie.
Wildcard: Two scenes to overjoy a hyper 11-year-old: Show a lawyer getting eaten while sitting on a toiliet and have a character say: "That is one big pile of shit."

Performance to Savor: Bob Peck
Memorable Moment: T-Rex Attack


1. The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003) D: Peter Jackson

Life Changing: Well, I went from hating fantasy to having my favorite movie (and book) of all time be held by the fantasy genre. After Jurassic Park the only other movie which plunged me into a deep, deep obsession. This was relatively recent, so y'all may have seen this. Signing up to LOTR websites, tracking the progress of the next few movies daily, reading the books (more than once!), talking about it all the time, watching FOTR on saturday morning (and saturday night). I am still obsessed with this movie. Yesterday morning Grace and I watched ROTK for the heck of it. Probably the only movie that I own that I should own. The rest I could get away with watching when they come on TV, or if I'm at someone's house and they own it, but this...oh, this I have to watch all the time. See Watchability.
Firsts: First fantasy movie I liked (much less loved). And by fantasy I don't mean movies like Baron Munchausen, I mean swords and wizards and knights fantasy.
Classic: Well, if I can't say that Jurassic Park is a classic, then neither is this. But, LOTR transcends classic status. I mean, ultimately, saying something is a classic movie is just a compliment, and therefore ultimately subjective. This could be a classic movie, but saying so wouldn't do it the justice it deserves. What's more powerful? "Man, Lord of the Rings, that's a classic movie." or, "Man, Lord of the Rings, that's my favorite movie of all=time!" There are a lot of classic movies, but only One number One. One Movie to rule them all, One Movie to find them...
Standout Aspect: Two things stick in my mind: Music and Book Fidelity. The music is gorgeous. Absolutely able to invoke the appropriate emotion. Howard Shore's work here is timeless, and was duly rewarded by the Academy. The music is so good that there are companies who travel the world playing 10 hour Lord of the Rings Symphonies...and they are thriving. This isn't just good for movie music, its just good music. As for Book Fidelity, there are many "fan-boys" who criticize every minor change from the book. The Elves at Helm's Deep, No Scouring of the Shire, The Ring in Osgiliath, Faramir's Brown Hair, No Barrow-wights, Gandalf Physically Fighting Saruman, etc...and I'm like, "Um, shut up." The book is ENORMOUS. There is more history/backstory/sidestory to middle-earth than any other make-believe land of all time. The fact that Phillipa, Fran, and Peter were able to wade through all that, pick the major points, and throw in plenty of detail is to be commended, not distracted. I thought they did an OUTSTANDING job of adapting the book to screen, and to say otherwise is, in my opinion, selfish and ignorant.
Watchability: I've somewhat covered this already, but let me just say: I could watch this movie every day and not get bored of it. The day after the Jaeger-Thon I wanted to watch this again. And again. SOOO GOOOOOD!
Wild Card: Let me just close this by saying that my expectations for this movie were completely negative. I went into the movie expecting to not like it. Think about that. More often than not your appreciation for a movie is somewhat biased towards how you are expecting to like it. I expected to not like this movie, and not only did I like it, not only did I love it, it became my favorite movie ever. My favorite book ever. *Shakes Head* Peter Jackson truly is a God. And yes, I consider the "Trilogy" a single movie.

Performance to Savor: Andy Serkis
Memorable Moment: "You can not pass!"

I honestly can't think of anything to say which appropriately sums up the magnitude of the project which I've just completed.

19-11

I am truly sorry about how this blog has fallen off. I know how it feels to be engaged in a slowly unfolding list, and then be left hanging. So here you go! (Oh yeah, you may notice the numbering is off...that's because I was moving some movies around in my list, and I got kind of fucked up. But, everything is cool now.)

19. Se7en (1995) D: David Fincher

Seven begins my top um, nineteen, and for good reason. It was the shocking movie (and most talked about?) of the mid-nineties. The MTV generation loved it for its imaginitave death and torture scenes. That decade produced several pseudo-psychological "Deep Thought" books which asked such questions as "Would you rather be alone on a desert island with all the books you can read, or blah blah blah blah....". The popularity of these books is the light-side manifestation of the same disturbed social psyche which eagerly awaits a model's debate between death or a disfigured life. Always a sucker for a good ending, this one's got one of the best: It wraps the story up nice and tidy-perfect, makes you think about who died for what sin, but mostly, because you just can't forget the look on Morgan Freeman's face when he looks in the box and realizes that "John Doe" has the upper hand. Shudder.

Performance to Savor: Kevin Spacey
Memorable Moment: The box

18. City of God (2003) D: Fernando Meirelles

The next three movies hit me like a ton of (well...anything, since a ton is a ton, regardless of what its composed of. A ton of bricks is the same as a ton of feathers. Of course, it would require a lot of space to hold a ton of feathers, so maybe its more convenient to say bricks. Anything heavier which could easily be collected into a ton, and then just as easily find its way to hitting me?) bricks. As I plan on updating the list as the years go on, it remains to be seen how well these stand the pop-quiz of time. As a matter of fact, my new policy is not to insert a movie immediately after I've seen it, but to enter it into a "To be Rated" queue, and rate it some time later, usually about 2 months. This should help avoid gut-reaction ratings. For now these movies stand, as I love them. City of God paints a devestating and rich portrait of a so-named slum region in Rio De Jeniero. Our protaganist is a young man with dreams of becoming a photographer, but can never quite find himself free of the trouble in which his home-ghetto constantly bathes itself. Other than him (who is obviously good) and Little Ze (who is obviously bad) all of the other characters act both heroically and tragically. Much like in Unforgiven, there really is no right or wrong...just what must be done to survive the situation. Excellent film. Though I hear that it is entirely inaccurate (from someone who is from there...perhaps unwilling to admit something?)

Performance to Savor: Leandro Firmino
Memorable Moment: None

17. Shaun of the Dead (2004) D: Edgar Wright

2nd in the run of recent movies to be suspiciously high on my list is this freshman effort from brit Wright. I'd heard great things about it from the various movie websites that I frequent (when I am not desperately trying to figure out how many calories are in a mouthful of plum), though I had few expectations for it myself. Zombie-horror-comedy. It sounded off-beat and quirky, and I figured I'd probably like it (and if I didn't, I would say I did around people who didn't like it, and say I didn't around people who did like it...because that's just how I am). What I found was a collection of characters whose relationships didn't require a zombiepocalypse to be interesting. The friendship of our two leads should be familiar to countless post-college, pre-career pseudo-intellectuals who would rather debate the relative hotness of the Princess and Lara Croft (hmm). Simon Pegg's ex-girlfriend and step-father are raw sources of pain more deep than any caused by the Dead. A rich tapestry of feeling, friendships, and love which is beautifully woven amid the mindless, shuffling, brain-eating hordes.

Performance to Savor: Nick Frost
Memorable Moment: Looking over the fence with backyard play ladder

16. The Incredibles (2004) D: Brad Bird

Side note: Brad Bird and Martin Brandt have to be the same person. Its unbelievable.

Every kids movie is gonna contain some sort of "moral to the story". The subtlety of which is often a good barometer for quality. And, its always something like "True love is great, friends are great, curiousity is great, compassion is great, slipping hidden messages into animations with the hopes of straightening a few pre-pubescent noodles is great". With The Incredibles we are given a "message" which I haven't really seen before, and one which I personally like. Families are great. Now, for the sake of avoiding controversy (but also to equip the move with a bit of a timeless feel), Bird presents his family as the traditional nuclear archetype. And, I'd imagine, most viewers will take away that that is the pinnacle of famliness. But, I sense of deeper understanding of Bird's family, one which goes beyond blood-lines and birth certificates. The Supers were a Family. Frozone wasn't Jack's friend...he was his brother (and not just because he was black). When Jack discovered the fate of the supers, his heart sank not just for the obvious tragedy, but for the loss of his ka-tet (sorry, I'm reading the Dark Tower). Now, is it this great overriding lesson which gives The Incredibles its charm? Of course not. Its just a fun movie. The settings consistantly made my jaw drop with wonder and the pure imagination on screen is the cinematic equivalent of *insert clever metaphor*. About 1/3 of the way through, I realized that I had an enormous smile on my face, and my eyeballs were popping out of my skull and I knew that I loved this film.

Performance to Savor: Craig T. Nelson
Memorable Moment: Dash on the water

15. Return of the Jedi (1983) D: Richard Marquand

I am somewhat retiscent to publish my own feelings about the entire Star Wars trilogy. The geeks online (self-professed these days) tend to divide everything into black and white (much like a Sith is wont to do!). Apologists and Purists. I'll save my rant for another day (well, probably not), but both sides, as they are described, are equally lame. To the Apologists: GEORGE LUCAS IS CAPABLE OF MAKING A BAD MOVIE! To the Pursits: GEORGE LUCAS DOESN'T OWE YOU SHIT (other than your life back for turning you into a mouth-breathing dork who argues about this shit from your parents house while sucking down milk and chatting with hot-babes online all day). Anyway, I loved the original trilogy and Ep. III, and I liked the prequels, even though they were bad movies, Star Wars is always cool. So, of the first three, well, second three, this is my least favorite. Interesting, because its got my favorite scenes of any of the movies (Luke, Vader, and Palps). But, the ewoks completely turned me off, as well as Han Solo's relative reduction from handsome, sly, witty and full of derring-do, to simple heartthrob sex-symbol joke-boy. But...can't complain to much, its definitely awesome to see Luke turn in to the Jedi his father could've been. For those of you who read Harry Knowles (matt): His take is that Luke became as powerful as he did, not just through the Force, but because he was unwilling to accept the traditional Jedi teachings of abandoning love and your loved ones. Interesting.

Performance to Savor: Ian McDiarmid
Memorable Moment: Vader's helmet removed

14. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) D: Steven Spielberg

Before the sure-to-be-not-that-good Indiana Jones IV comes out, lets remember the greatness of this trilogy. Well, lets focus on this third one for now. Indy has a familiar foe: The Nazis. Excellent choice. Reviled world-wide. Capable of religious zealotry and political fanatacism. No shortage of resources. Ideal Indy foible. Shit, I can't really think of anything to say. Clearly I like the movie. But why? Mostly because I like the character of Indiana Jones, and by extension Harrison Ford. I would say that Indiana is the Perfect Man, would you not? Think about it:

A) He's A Professor (indicates brains)
B) He's A Professor of Archeology (Travels all over the world)
C) He Cleans Up Well (girls love this)
D) He's Devestatingly Handsome (girls also love this)

I would trade my life for Indiana Jones' in a second. Harrison Ford? Nah, he's got that little scar on his chin which he's probably been teased about his whole life, making life not worth living. Ah, who am I kidding, I'd trade with Harrison Ford as well. Oh yeah, the Knight of the Grail owns.

Performance to Savor: Sean Connery
Memorable Moment: "He chose...poorly."

13. Time Bandits (1981) D: Terry Gilliam

Yeah, we know that it turned out ok, but really, who approved a movie-pitch about a group of time travelling midgets? Imagine how that went:

Stuffy Exec (SE): Hmm...
Insane Terry Gilliam Undoubtedly Wearing Cowboy Hat And Hawaiian Shirt (ITGUWCHAHS): Ok, so I got this great idea.
SE: Hmm...
ITGUWCHAHS: People like time-travel, right?
SE: Hmm...
ITGUWCHAHS: And people like midgets, right?
SE: Hmm...
ITGUWCHAHS: I think you see were I'm going with this.
SE: Hmm...
ITGUWCHAHS: Umm...what if I include a Dark Castle made of Legos?
SE: Here's $20 million.

Clearly I have no idea how movies get made. Gilliam's movies can sometimes get lost in a quagmire of quirkiness (Fisher King), but here he sufficiently uses the device of Time Travel to navigate and explain away all of the quirkiness. By going all the way (or "whole hog", as my grandpa would say, although now all he'd say is "..." because he's dead.) Gilliam ensnares us into the film's internal logic, and the prospect of an ogre dwelling on a boat which isn't a boat at all because its the hat on an enormous giant who somehow is managing to stay under water for a really long time, just doesn't suprise us. This movie is clever, historically accurate (well, at least enough to get by me, which isn't saying all that much), and there's even a bit of mean streak, which supplements the fun-oddities.

Performance to Savor: David Warner
Memorable Moment: Escape from the cage

12. The Empire Strikes Back (1980) D: Irvin Kershner

Whenever a trilogy is complete (in film, books, whatever) the second installment is always, always, compared to The Empire Strikes Back. Always. And for good reason too. Other than the Godfather movies sequels to tentpole movies tended to fall flat. Either from unwarranted expectation, hype, or David Arquette, Round 2 was never quite as scintilating. Then came TESB, and now we find ourselves in a dark Star Wars universe, where the heros lose, make bad choices, stumble. The Empire has bounced back from its defeat at Yevin, and with some critical information about the lineage of "young Sky-walk-ah" refocus their efforts. They do, in fact, strike back. And hard. And, unlike say, the Matrix, or even Lord of the Rings, things, critical things actually happen in this movie. It is crucial and pertinent, and, more importantly, the sexual chemistry between Leia and Han finally blooms. Now, I'd probably rather watch this over Ep. IV, but I just can't ignore the pure ground-breaking ground breakiness that A New Hope offered contemporary audiences as well as posterity.

Performance to Savor: Harrison Ford
Memorable Moment: Luke's parentage revealed

11. Resevoir Dogs (1992) D: Quentin Tarantino

While simultaneously admonishing a group of people I will also count myself among them. Don't think I can do it? Watch:

Everyone loves Pulp Fiction. Everyone thinks its QT's best movie (except those assholes who say Jackie Brown is their favorite, just to be different). It may be. Its just that I feel that their needs to be a little more debate. How come no one ever sticks up for Resevoir Dogs? This movie introduced us to the Vega family! That's right, Mr. Blonde (James Madsen) is Vincent Vega's brother. As far as sadistic villainy is concerned, I give the edge to Dogs. Pulp is more developed, with actual supporting characters, but Dogs is more raw. More upfront. Pulp is Apollo Creed (showy, no.1, beloved), Dogs is Rocky (scrappy, brutal, heart-of-iron). QT needed this move in order to make Pulp Fiction, but it is here where he cut his teeth.

Performance to Savor: Michael Madsen
Memorable Moment: "Let's go get a taco"

How's that, eh? Top 10 coming...

23-21

Up bright and early.

23. Schindler's List (1993) D: Stephen Spielberg

This movie was probably the hardest one to place on the list. It was the standard example movie I used when discussing the intricies and difficulties of making an All-Time Movie list. How do I deal with this subject matter? Do I rank movies strictly on how enjoyable they are to watch? Or do I also factor in sophistication and elegant movie-making? Of course, there are no right answers, and as with Pornography: "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it". That maxim certainly applies. Schindler's List feels like its in the right spot. It is certainly better made than movies that follow, but, its certainly a hard movie to watch.

All that said, this was the first R-rated movie I saw in the theater. Classic "learning experience" my father felt that I had to witness. As an 11-year-old who was too cool to cry, I was on the verge of tears. Devestating film.

Memorable Moment: Purging of the ghetto
Performance to Savor: Ralph Fiennes

22. The Princess Bride (1987) D: Rob Reiner

A modern classic? A modern cult classic? You never really see this movie mentioned in any sort of AFI lists, or any other list for that matter, and yet, everyone seems to like it. Not just like it, love it. Across gender lines. There is a little something for everyone. I had this movie on tape as a young lad, and it was my standard "Movie To Watch When Stuck At Home Due to Illness". I wasn't sick that much, but enough to have the entire movie memorized. I was bordering on being able to recite the movie without it even playing. I recently read the book as well. Wooeee! As amazing and memorable as the movie is, they still didn't even truly capture the fantastical spirit of the book. The movie played it a bit straighter, focusing more on the dramatic features of Wesley and Buttercup's love, rather than the mystical and curious aspects of the world they inhabit. The background stories of Fezzik and Indigo are of particular note.

Memorable Moment: "Drop...your...sword."
Performance to Savor: Robin Wright Penn

21. The Lion King (1994) D: Roger Allers

The first Disney movie not to be based on a pre-existing story. Remarkable, eh? As already noted with Gladiator and The Prince of Egypt the music in a movie can make an ok-movie good, a good-movie great, and a great-movie transcendent. That's what we have here. Elton John, Tim Rice, and everyone involved in the score deserve all the praise that is lauded upon them. Sweeping, majestic, kingly, cruel...they captured the tonal elements of the film perfectly. I could probably do without Hakuna Matata, but hey, necessary evils, right? Can you feel the love tonight? helped create a more romantic atmosphere among lions than is felt in most live-action movies. Circle of Life? Gets my heart pounding. The story is suprisingly adult at times, but is nicely balanced my levity and humor. Wonderful movie.

Memorable Moment: Mustafa dies
Performance to Savor: Jeremy Irons

Alright, got stuff to do, I'll try to knock a few more of these out on the weekend.

24

24. Memento (2001) D: Chris Nolan

Yeah, I know I've been fairly Brian-esque in my lack of blogging. I'm a big lame loser. Now, Memento, is without a doubt, the best "gimmick-movie" of all-time. Normally, I hate gimmicky type productions, for it is often used to distract the viewer from bad writing and acting. Here, however, we find a film in which the gimmick is derived from the situation, rather than a situation derived from a gimmick. (Just used the word gimmick in noun and adjective form way to many times.) It is fairly natural that the movie play itself out backwards, because our man Leonard is living his life that way. He knows where he is, but he doesn't know where he's been. He has a better sense of the future than of the past, and the viewer is constantly reminded of that as the film chugs along its backwards track. What elevates this movie from one-note thriller, and ultimate triumph, is the way in which the supporting characters manipulate Lenny's condition to satisfy their own ends. Carrie-Anne Moss's role is the best example of this. For not only does she use Leonard's amnesia, but she prey's upon his feelings toward her as a woman. Leonard is an infant. A sharp and deadly infant, but he is completely in the hands of the fast-moving world around him. And without fail, that world lets him down.

Performance to Savor: Guy Pearce
Memorable Moment : Sammy Jankis kills wife

49-25

I promised Jake that I would have this done by the end of the week. In order for that to happen...gotta get movin'!

49. The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) D: Joel Coen

Today's entry opens with (ahh! passive voice!) two straight Coen Brothers movies. Can't help it. The Hudsucker Proxy is probably the Coen Brothers movie that the most people think is not a Coen Brothers movie. I can't explain this. All the elements are there: Dry humor, slow pacing, eccentric characters. Whenever I tell someone this is Coen, they're like, "Yeah! That's right!". Anyway, this movie follows the oxymoronic character favored by the Coens (Murdering barber, Murderous Midwest, Child-rearing thieves, Gang-banging stoners...). Here its a doofus-CEO, protrayed by Tim Robbins. Throughout the course of the movie we are given the true history of the hoola-hoop and the frisbee, with a great performance by Paul Newman.

Performance to Savor: Paul Newman
Memorable Moment: None

48. Raising Arizona (1987) D: Joel Coen

The first Coen movie I saw. Thankfully the Coens captured a Nic Cage performance with charisma. As Hi, the kidnapping thief, Cage forces us to root for his plight, despite his many flaws. A fun movie, with an appropriate amount of weirdness, a great soundtrack, and fun performances.

Performance to Savor: John Goodman
Memorable Moment: Stealing diapers

47. Shrek (2001) D: Andrew Adamson

In my opinion, the Shrek series is headed in the wrong direction. I believe I've discussed this already with Shrek 2, so check that out if you must. The plot discription for Shrek 3, while encouraging doesn't leave me convinced that the filmmakers are intent on creating a timeless classic (they've cast Justin Timberlake as King Arthur). That said, Shrek, is an unbelievable movie fusing fantasy, lore, CG, action, and comedy...all into a kids movie! There are more than one adult references, which keeps the story sharp, while never losing its sense of purpose. Great film.

46. Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004) D: Michael Moore

I refer you to my little write up of The Passion of the Christ (to lazy to make a link) for my opinion of the appropriateness of political propoganda. Moore's arguments tend to be blind, biased, and misinformed...but its easy to look past such things when you agree with his points. I wish that the Democratic Party had a charismatic, inspirational, and yes, religious leader around which we might rally. I felt that Kerry said all the right things (for example, he personally didn't believe in abortion, but he did believe in a woman's right to choose, and firmly supported Roe v. Wade). That's about as good as it gets for me. He sets aside what he recognizes to be a personal belief, and acknowledges the autonomy of others to make their own decisions. Unfortunately...not enough people agreed with me. Well, they did, they weren't concrentrated in the correct states. Anyway, apparently religion is necessary these days to get elected, so if we can find someone who is religious, but only personally so...lets go for it.

Performance to Savor: George W. Bush
Memorable Moment: Britney Spears

45. Hoosiers (1986) D: David Anspaugh

The greatest sports movie ever filmed? Quite a lofty title for such a non-assuming flick. I've never really discussed the flick with people who didn't have some element of love for sports, so I can't really attest to its viability in that market. Anyone want to share? Otherwise...a predictable story with a predictable ending, but Gene Hackman gives a fiery performance as (yes, an asshole) the basketball coach that plot really is second to the personal drama.

Performance to Savor: Gene Hackman
Memorable Moment: Arriving at the State Tournament

44. Forrest Gump (1994) D: Robert Zemeckis

This is one of those "good" blockbuster movies. I'm wary of making that classification because "Titanic" and "ET" also fall in that category. Its also easily dismissable. How many of you are gonna say they just didn't like this movie? Well, I understand...I do think Hanks' performance is somewhat overrated (he showed more depth in Castaway), but I really loved the concept of an every day guy being present at definitive historical event. Gumps Renaissance may be a bit on the whimsical side, but it nevertheless lauds the all too sparse qualities of loyalty and pride.

Performance to Savor: Gary Sinise
Memorable Moment: Shit happens

43. The Usual Suspects (1995) D: Bryan Singer

The mother of all twist endings. Though when you think about it, it pretty much negates the entire movie. Right? Doesn't matter, here is a fine example of a movie completely propped up by the unforgettability of its conclusion. Had the denoument been anything but, this movie would've been just another dreary crime drama. Forgotten in the middle of the decade. Kevin Spacey and Benicio Del Toro rose to Hollywood studs because of this flick. Excellent.

Performance to Savor: Kevin Spacey
Memorable Moment: His limp straightens

42. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) D: Stanley Kubrick

I would say that this movie could be just as effective as a silent film, but that would ignore the fantastic use of music that Kubrick employs. From Also Sprach Zarathustra to Schuman, Kubrick recognizes the emotional punch packed by the old classics. Like Mulholland Drive people will be confused by the movie if they attempt to order it sequentially and logically. The point is lost if viewed as a traditional protaganist/antagonist/conflict/resolution film. The Monoliths appear when our species are ready for giant leap forward. From Apes to Humans. From Foraging to Tools. From Earth to the Moon. From the Solar System to Beyond. Its all there. Also there is a critique/observation of the price paid by advancement. In order to use tools for food, we introduce muder weapons. In order to use computers for science, we introduce HAL. There's a lot going on here.

Performance to Savor: Douglas Rain
Memorable Moment: Docking

41. American Beauty (1999) D: Sam Mendes

And thus, screenplays became coveted in Hollywood. If only this were completely true, but we must acknowledge the path re-blazed by Mendes in re-introducing mass culture to a smart, dark, and insanely well-written movie. Mendes perfectly captures the restrained frustration felt by suburbanites, and their relative inability to do anything about it. Mendes interestingly gives away the ending at the beginning, indicating that the movie isn't designed to lead towards some sort of "shocker". We are forced to deal with that reality up front and can therefore consider the end while we observe the means. Its kind of like watching the movie for the second time, to see how everything fits together...only you can do that the first time. Well done, Sam.

Performance to Savor: Chris Cooper
Memorable Moment: None

40. A Clockwork Orange (1971) D: Stanley Kubrick

Never one to shy from a challenge, here Kubrick tackles the nature of free-will, through the lens of politics. Our protaganist/antagonist, is Alex, and...you know what? I'm sure everyone of you wrote a film critique of this movie in high school, so y'all probably have more insights than me, so I'll just share a few things.

If we combine Greek and Latin, Alex (a-lex) can be translated as "Without Law". Though I doubt that was a conscious decision.

That's all I got.

Performance to Savor: Malcolm McDowell
Memorable Moment: Apologies/Alliances

39. Spider-Man (2002) D: Sam Raimi

The best comic-book movie ever? That remains to be seen, but its thus far the best on T-Biggs. Why? Its probably more of a personal thing, but as a young man seeing the movie, I identified more with Peter Parker than Bruce Banner/Bruce Wayne/etc...the first Spider-Man is definitely a film about the painful interaction between the freewheeling days of youth and the responsibility of adulthood. Here that is exemplified by the remarkable powers thrust upon Parker and the sacrifices he knows he must now make. This struggle parallels the struggle experienced by all young adults as they realize that their lives will never be the same. They can no longer rely on their parents for everything, and that soon, people will be relying on them.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: Discovering powers

38. Das Boot (1981) D: Wolfgang Peterson

As with every rule, there is an exception. Normally I avoid movies that Simmz' likes, and vice-versa, but we saw this together, and we both loved it. Will that ever happen again? No. I don't really know what about this movie appealed to both of our sensabilities, but I won't question it. The most striking thing to me about this movie is the humanization it provides of the "other" side of WWII. They were men following orders as well. Orders that they didn't understand, and often didn't agree with. They were asked to kill, and they did. But, they were human and such an experience deeply affected them. To often we are asked to accept that the people we are fighting are mindless, dispicable drones, and this movie forces us to reconsider that notion.

Performance to Savor: Jurgen Prochnow
Memorable Moment: Boat sinks

37. Toy Story (1995) D: John Lasseter

If it seems that every movie is "the first..." something or other, you shouldn't be too suprised. The movies that are going to be towards the top of my list will probably be those movies for which I saw something I'd never seen before. Initial impressions are most lasting, and this is reflected in my favorite movies. What "first" is Toy Story? Well...before Toy Story, Pixar had released A Bug's Life, which, while visually stunning, frankly wasn't all that great of a movie. People had questioned the ability of CG movies to leave room for smart and fun story telling. Toy Story blew all of those critics completely away. Without a doubt, this movie will be remember for the influential pioneer that it is: A movie whose remarkable visual style partners synergistically with a terrific story, accessible to both kids and adults.

Performance to Savor: Tim Allen
Memorable Moment: "So play nice."

36. The Karate Kid (1984) D: John G. Avildsen

Who doesn't like this movie? I'll tell you, people who saw it for the first time after the age of 15. And, I'd probably understand. But, to those people, imagine seeing this for the first time at a young age (6-14). Imagine seeing Daniel-san being forced to move across the country, living in his dumpy apartment, being picked on, beat up, humiliated. Imagine watching him fumble his way around girls. Then, he meets Mr. Miyagi, and through him gathers a strength to overcome these familiar obstactles. Imagine wanting to join Karate because of this movie. Imagine dreaming of taking down your own personal tormentors, just like Daniel-san did. How can you not love this movie?

Performance to Savor: Pat Morita
Memorable Moment: The Crane

35. Fight Club (1999) D: David Fincher

So many of my peers love this movie, that I'm not really defending this pick to anyone. So many have read the book (and I haven't) that I dont' really have anything to add. So...I won't bother.

Performance to Savor: Brad Pitt
Memorable moment: Discovering Tyler Durden

34. The Sixth Sense (1999) D: M. Night Shyamalan

Grace often asks me why I even bother watching network television. Not to turn my own crank, but I've gotten quite good at making predictions about the out comes of the shows. These extraordinary powers translate to movies as well. Its those movies that manage to sneak one past my goalie that resonate most with me. Now, what is unusual about The Sixth Sense is that I knew a twist was coming! I had heard my friends talking about it, but I told 'em to shut up before I heard what the twist was. The entire movie I tried in vain to figure out what it was...but I couldn't. And the best thing about the ending is that it doesn't seem forced. It flowed natural with the story. The endings that are unpredictable yet logical, fantastical yet implied...those are the best. And The Sixth Sense nailed it.

Performance to Savor: Haley Joel Osment
Memorable Moment: Revelation

33. The Exorcist (1973) D: William Friedkin

How scary was this movie when you first saw it? Of course, that probably depended on the situation, but for most, I'd imagine it was horrifying. Friedkin dared to show us things we hadn't seen before. Dared to shock us, to make us sick. Why is this movie considered the scariest of all time? Well, first, its just a well made movie. It has legitimate actors, not bouncy blondes. Mostly the true scares are found at the juxtoposition of the innocent (Regan) and the corrupt (Demon). Friedkin mutilates pure images into ones of hate and filth. Head spinning, walking down stairs upside down and backwards, vomiting, crucifixing. All of these images are meant to spoil our minds eye vision of the pure child. That a beast could be so evil as to devour our children? That's the horror.

Performance to Savor: Max Von Sydow
Memorable Moment: Crab walk down stairs

32. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1999) D: Guy Ritchie

I would say that this is the movie that introduced me to British gangster movies...except I never really got in to them. With Snatch and...yeah, sure, Trainspotting, I found a collection of characters and actors that I really liked, performing for directors who really knew their craft. As with South Park, however, I didn't really take the iniative to seek such out this movie-style. Can I explain why? Um. No.

Performance to Savor: Jason Statham
Memorable Moment: None

31. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) D: Michel Gondry

The most realistic depiction of romance that I have seen in a movie. Ever. Fantastical. Impossible. Realistic. Joel and Clementine are both terrified of each other. They want to avoid the pain that comes with heartbreak, but even more, they want to avoid the pain that comes with lonelines. Timidly, they allow themselves to care, only to find that heartbreak is in the cards. Charlie Kaufman, Hollywood wunderkind, uses an (typical.) out-there device to illustrate points which are far to real. Essentially, its a cinematic interpretation of "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." And it works like a charm.

Performance to Savor: Jim Carrey
Memorable Moment: Memories under the table

30. Dr. Strangelove (1964) D: Stanley Kubrick

As a kid I had a brief and unattached image of a man riding a nuclear bomb, waving his hat and cheering like a cowboy. For the longest time I couldn't associate this image with any particular movie. Well...we all see where this is going. I watched this for the first time as a cognizant adult, and there it was! The image from my youth! Alas, it certainly is a memorable part of the film, but by no means is it the best. Kubrick fills this movie with excellent performances and anti-war jabs, all the while making his, in my opinion, most accessible film. It works as a comedy. It works as a drama. Shit, it even works as a war movie. It just works. Oh yeah...James Earl Jones' first movie.

Performance to Savor: Peter Sellers
Memorable Moment: King Kong rides the bomb

29. Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) D: James Cameron

Huge time-travel fallacies all over the place. Enormous holes in the script. Who cares!? This dark and semi-apocolyptic vision of the near-future is James Cameron at his (second) best. The transition of Arnold from evil cyborg to good cyborg is handled adequetly enough, and following a brief exposition of characters, we get to watch Industrial Light & Magic jerk off all of the screen. The story provides a perfect medium for ILM to flex its muscle, and the movie is better off for it. Imagine watching this had they used the stop-motion from the first?

Performance to Savor: Linda Hamilton
Memorable Moment: Vision of the apocalypse

28. The Abyss (1989) D: James Cameron

Another James Cameron movie, I know. The reason that I like this more than T2 is primarily the acting, followed closely by the plot. T2, while awesomely cool, handles its Time Paradox somewhat ham-handedly, while The Abyss isn't encumbered by such problems. What we are given, however, is a sophisticated action-thriller, peppered with suspense and extraterrestrial. Cameron wisely holds off on many of his money-shots until the end (a technique learned from Spielberg), and simply lets his actors breathe. Here we are given actors with better chops than in T2 and so Cameron uses FX for enhancement, rather than overshadowing.

Performance to Savor: Ed Harris
Memorable Moment: Water snake

27. The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) D: Martin Scorcese

An interesting way to analyze history is to play the "What if?" game. What if Hitler choked on a braunschweiger in his youth? What if JFK was wearing a kevlar helmet? What if Henry Ford was named Henry Chevrolet? Anyway, this could go on forever, but the question asked by this movie is "What if Jesus had decided to save himself from the Cross?" This question has been asked by theologians and clergy for centuries, though it took 2000 centuries before it appeared on film. What gives? Given the nature of Jesus (y'know half-man, half-god...kinda like how an electron is a wave and a particle at the same time), he certainly was well within his power to come down from the Cross. While dying several Pharisees and Roman Soldiers taunted him with such temptations. If you are who you say you are, why not save yourself? Well... this movie doesn't really explore the full nature and power of Jesus, rather, it hypothesizes about the life JC would've led had he shed his role of Savior.

Performance to Savor: Willem Dafoe
Memorable Moment: None

26. Gladiator (2000) D: Ridley Scott

I couldn't decide which movie to place rank higher between this and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I'm not even sure if this ranking is accurage. I feel very similar towards both. The common thread of affinity is unique to both movies. Both movies are propped up by music. That is somewhat misleading. Both would still be very good movies in their own right, but they just wouldn't be ranked this high. The music in both films is so completely perfect to the mood that it transcends the celluloid and becomes a symphony in its own right. Many soundtracks are very movie-specific, yet here we find themes and motifs that can be enjoyed independent of any movie. Just ask Linda.

Performance to Savor: Joaquin Phoenix
Memorable Moment: I will have my vengeance

25. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) D: Ang Lee

See above. I Like the part in the cave when they do it.

Performance to Savor: Zhang Ziyi
Memorable Moment: In the cave

74-50

Just so y'all know: Sin City came in at 77, and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is at 376.

74. 12 Monkeys (1995) D: Terry Gilliam

This is awfully high for someone who previously complained about Bruce Willis' hungover acting style. Well, can't do much about that. Its not like he acts "bad", in fact he's quite good. Its just that I'd prefer if he also pepper in a few stylistically different roles as well. That said, I have (with E-town) an affinity for dystopic visions of the future. Here we find humans forced underground by a deadly virus. The issues with Time Travel are handled adequetly, covered mostly by the statement "you can't change the past...its already happened." The ending is a bit of a twist, though somewhat more predictable for mature film goers. Fortunately I had a bit of naievete in me when I first saw 12 Monkeys, so I fell for the ruse.

Performance to Savor: Brad Pitt
Memorable Moment: None

73. Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003) D: Quentin Tarantino

I had been anticipating this movie for several years before it came out, and Q's decision to split it in two at first seemed an example of studio greediness, but now I see that it was also the correct artistic decision. Unfortunately, my first viewing of the film was less than ideal. I saw it in Hungary, and so the film had Hungarian subtitles. Not a problem. Until everyone started speaking Japanese. Of course, the Hungarian subtitles continue. So my choice is to try to listen in Japanese or read in Hungarian. This continued for a frustratingly long time. As we'll see, I connected a bit better with Vol. II. I also appreciated the subtle to not-so-subtle references, however, this movie simply made me yearn for a more wholly original Tarantino flick. Also, I don't know why everyone raves about Uma Thurman. I thought she was average at best.

Peformance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: "It was a Hanzoi sword!"

72. Hero (2004) D: Yimou Zhang

A movie in the vein of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (I have a feeling whichever I saw first would be rated higher...though I can't prove it.), without being saddled by the need to show a more feminist martial arts movie. I feel here that Zhang, much more than Ang Lee, lets his characters behave naturally, despite their incredible physical powers. Gorgeous cinematography.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: Swordfight on water

71. Amelie (2001) D: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Sometimes I begrudgingly see a movie which I had no intention of seeing, based soley on Grace's recommendation. Examples include: Gone With the Wind, Thelma & Louise, and Amelie. Maybe I shouldn't be so hesitant...these are some great movies. Especially Amelie which completely blew me away with its wit and charm. We are presented with a nervous and shy protagonist, but dammit if she isn't so darn cute! Her heart is made of pure gold, and Jeunet's visual style is perfectly suited to tell the story of a whimsical matchmaker with an active imagination.

Performance to Savor: Audrey Tautou
Memorable Moment: The photo booth repair man

70. Snatch (2001) D: Guy Ritchie

In a lot of ways, this is mostly just a remake of "Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels", which means that under normal circumstances I would dock heavily for loss of originality. More important to my list though, is gut instinct. Sure the stories were similar, but I found them both to be very intriguing, and populated by fascinating characters. My experience with English gangster movies is thus far quite limited, and so any feelings of triteness I might have had towards Snatch are still buried.

Performance to Savor: Vinnie Jones
Memorable Moment: Imposter

69. Monty Python and the Life of Brian (1979) D: Terry Jones

Satire and spoof are most effective when the audience is keenly aware of the source material. Would Animal Farm be as memorable if you knew nothing of Russian history? As a PK (preacher's kid), I know the story of Jesus backwards and forwards, which makes this spoof all the more hilarious. I get a lot of the high-brow jokes which pass over some heads, but also love the low-brow elements as well. It essence this really is the only thing which seperates this movie from Holy Grail and Meaning of Life. Also, I've seen more often as once a year my dad and all of his pastor buddies will get together to drink scotch and watch this movie.

Performance to Savor: Graham Chapman
Memorable Moment: The bright side of life

68. The Mission (1986) D: Roland Joffe

Whoa! Two straight religious-themed movies! I was made to watch The Mission as part of my confirmation training, and the viewing of which was the first time my dad was able to quiet a group of rowdy middle-schoolers. The story is so somber and compelling, enhanced by amazing visuals and dynamic acting, that none of us could avoid being affected in some way. Remarkably, this movie is in no way pro-Church or anti-Church; it smartly leaves any moral lessons left to the reader. Certainly both stances could be held. My personal take is that it is clearly a condemnation of war (obviously), and an encouragement to eschew the rigid formalities of worship en masse and to pursue a personal relationship with whatever it is that you call God.

Performance to Savor: Jeremy Irons
Memorable Moment: Shot with the cross

67. Clerks (1994) D: Kevin Smith

I should probably mention that Smith is currently in the process of making Clerks 2: The Passion of the Clerks, which hopefully won't ruin my affinity for the original. Little more than a play on screen, Clerks stands uniquely in my mind as a movie which has a lot to eloquently say, about very little, about nothing. In many ways Clerks is an R-rated version of Seinfeld. From discussions of contractors on the Death Star to necro-nasty encounters in the bathroom, our characters routinely talk about, act towards, and respond to mundane everyday-ness. Certainly they are more well-spoken and persuasive (Randall) than most, but I think what makes this movie so appealing is the way in which it mirrors our own lives. And there's a lot of dick-and-fart jokes.

Performance to Savor: Jeff Anderson
Memorable Moment: Bad service at the video store

66. Animal House (1978) D: John Landis

This is the highest ranking comedy (that isn't a kids movie) on my list. Take that for what its worth. The thing I like most about this film (displayed best by Otter) is that throughout their adventures, our lovable losers consistantly act confident and classy. Well, maybe only Otter acts like that. Really no plot to speak of, but...who cares? This movie is a classic. John Belushi is gold, Neidermeyer is villainous villainy, Flounder, Donald Sutherland, Peter Reigert, Kevin Bacon, arg. I'm not smart enough to analyze the movie very well. Here's my best: It's funny!

Performance to Savor: John Belushi
Memorable Moment: Breaking the guitar

65. Top Gun (1986) D: Tony Scott

I actually considered docking this a few points because this was the movie that gave Jerry Bruckheimer the confidence to invade Hollywood. But, that wouldn't be fair to Tony Scott and what he accomplished. (Trivia: Tony Scott is Ridley Scott's brother, and they both started out making commercials in England). Perfect 80s movie. Stuffed with machismo, babes, melodrama, and bad music. The sheer wattage given off by Tom Cruise is palpable, though is chemistry with Kelly McGillis is questionable. I'm sitting here trying to think of something more to say, but everytime I think "Top Gun" to myself, I smile, shake my head a little, and chuckle.

Performance to Savor: Tom Cruise
Memorable Moment: Goose dies

64. Rocky (1976) D: John G. Avildsen

This was one of those movies that I'd always put off seeing, mostly because I had no interest in it. I'm not a huge fan of Sly, and I'm certainly no boxing afficianado. But, if you read ESPN.com long enough, you'll hear this movie mentioned again and again. Eventually enough was enough, and I finally sat down and watched the thing. Boy, had I been wrong. This is a great movie. Not only is the screenplay (by Sly) smart and unpatronizing, his performance as The Italian Stallion is captivating. Any scene that he isn't in is boring by comparison. That's how good he is. This isn't just a great sports movie...its a great movie, period.

Performance to Savor: Sylvester Stallone
Memorable Moment: Running up the steps

63. Commando (1985) D: Mark L. Lester

My dirtiest pleasure. Probably the highest ranking movie on my list which isn't considered a good movie by anyone's standards. More than the Terminators, this is, to me, the definitive Arnold Movie. He single handedly battles an entire compound of soldiers! That's like 300-to-1. How does he do it? And there are countless moments which E-town and I constantly recount. Jumping out of a plane, ripping the seat out of a car, crashing in to a pole with no seatbelt, breaking in to an ammo store, the list goes on...I just can't deny how much I love this movie.

Performance to Savor: Vernon Wells
Memorable Moment: Jumping from the airplane

62. Total Recall (1990) D: Paul Verhoeven

This was my first glimpse into the difference between an R-rated movie and a PG-13 movie. We don't really notice it now, but think about the first time you saw an R-rated movie. All the violence and sex is actually quite amazing. This wasn't the first R movie I watched start to finish, but I saw a few scenes at my Grandma's house before my mom came running in and demanded that I change the channel. I had a hard time deciding between this and Commando. They have similar rewatchabilities and Arnold Factors, but ultimately, the story of Total Recall is significantly better. A suprising amount of thinking goes on for this Arnold Movie.

Performance to Savor: Michael Ironside
Memorable Moment: Body as a shield

61. The Last of the Mohicans (1992) D: Michael Mann

At this point, I defer to E-town.

Performance to Savor: Daniel Day-Lewis
Memorable Moment: Scalping

60. Saving Private Ryan (1998) D: Steven Spielberg

Thankfully I have never been to war and I can't imagine the horrors therein. As far as cinema goes, this appears to be as close to battle-time conditions as we've seen. From the soldiers puking on the boats to the begging for life to the paralyzing fear, this is a realistic (insert Brian comment about how this wasn't realistic) war... full of hero's and cowards. I can't attest to its historical accuracy, but as far as movies go, this is near the top of a long list of great war movies.

Performance to Savor: Tom Hanks
Memorable Moment: Afraid to help mate

59. The Passion of the Christ (2004) D: Mel Gibson

Another religious movie! Zealot! Zealot! As far as politics go, I'm tired of hearing people complain that this movie is propaganda and simple proseltyzing by Mel Gibson, that he had no right to shove this down our throats. Well, you didn't have to see it, and second, as far as that logic goes, the same could be said about Michael Moore. I certainly wouldn't classify myself as a conservative, however one wants to define that word, but I do *gulp* admire those who have the conviction to stand up and speak loudly for their beliefs. My only hope is that those whose convictions fall more in line with my own would find their own loud voice. Anyway....regardless of ones religious or political views, I doubt if you can deny the incredible filmmaking on display here. The Passion of the Christ (and for those of you who are wondering passion is derived from a greek word for suffering), is a very powerful story which is in this movie, finally captured on screen.

Performance to Savor: Jim Caviezel
Memorable Moment: Beaten by Romans

58. Unforgiven (1992) D: Clint Eastwood

Eastwood near the top of his game. Like Mystic River our main characters are deeply flawed and are mired in moral ambiguity. Munny's motivations are certainly understandable, but his actions boder on disturbing. Eastwood excels at directing scripts wherein there is no true good guy, and no true bad guy, for each is capable of things which seem contrary to their nature. What's on screen, though sensationalized, is identifiable with the grey areas of our world.

Performance to Savor: Clint Eastwood
Memorable Moment: None

57. Toy Story 2 (1999) D: John Lasseter

Like a breath of fresh air, Toy Story 2 enters the list after a string of violent and dark movies. A relatively high ranked sequel, I can't hide my unabashed joy at all that Pixar turns out. Toy Story was the first CG movie that really got it, and Toy Story 2 simply builds on that confidence. We don't need any lengthy exposition, we can jump right in to the story. And its not just fluff. Our characters are given real existential dilemnas which they must deal with in order to understand themselves. Great stuff, as usual, from the folks at Pixar.

Performance to Savor: Tim Allen
Memorable Moment: None

56. Home Alone (1990) D: Chris Columbus

A relic from my childhood movie experiences, this movie continues to entertain. I'll watch maybe once a year, and each time I'm amazed at how well it holds up. It has no extravagent special effects or extreme displays of technology, so it won't be dated any time soon. And what kid didn't dream of this scenario? Though I doubt any would be as organized and resourceful as young Kevin McAllister.

Performance to Savor: Macauley Culkin
Memorable Moment: None

55. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) D: Wes Anderson

I would like to think that I am a Wes Anderson fan though I've only seen The Royal Tenenbaums, despite all of the good things I've heard about Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, and The Life Aquatic. Any directors (or actors, or whoever) do that to anybody? I feel like he's a great director, but its all heresay. I've only seen one of his movies. But, oh boy, was it a good one.

Performance to Savor: Gene Hackman
Memorable Moment: None

54. Jaws (1975) D: Steven Spielberg

The granddaddy of all blockbuster movies. For what its worth, to still be ranked this high after 30 years speaks highly of quality. I admit that T-Biggs is a bit skewed toward newer movies, which is why I plan to revise and edit as the years go on. None the less, Jaws showed movie studios that summer was the time to release movies, it showed directors the proper way to deal with a monster effectively, it showed producers how to maximize budget, it showed writers that action and horror don't have to equal dumb, and it showed audiences how powerful filmmaking can truly be.

Performance to Savor: Robert Shaw
Memorable Moment: Swimming at night

53. Requiem for a Dream (2000) D: Darren Aranofsky

THE movie of my freshman year in college. I will forever assosciate this film with the living experience of first being away from home, living on Doty 3, negotiating collegiate life, finding a girlfriend, making new friends...everything. I had the soundtrack on my computer, which probably added to the doom and gloom of Doty. Aranofsky's flair accentuates the highs and inevitable lows of prolonged drug use, and its multitude of forms. From heroin to diet pills, all ages are susceptible. Dark, painful, disturbing, and not necessarily for the faint of heart, Requiem is the cinematic experience of an overdose...though without the side effects.

Performance to Savor: Marlon Wayons
Memorable Moment: On the pier

52. Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004) D: Quentin Tarantio

If the Kill Bill movies were released as a single film, as originally planned, I would hope that the end result was mostly elements from KB2. In my opinion QT shows more depth, and requires much more of his actors. Sure the House of Blue Leaves was an unforgettable cinematic experience, but in a lot of ways it clogged the movie; prevented our characters from interacting and dispensing information as to their motivations and backgrounds. In KB2 all of our questions are answered, and stylistically as well. Bill doesn't get quite enough screen time, and his back story is kind of lame, but David Carradine nails what he's given. They coulda picked a less annoying kid for the daughter. Excellent forshadowing as to how Bill is Killed.

Performance to Savor: Gordon Liu
Memorable Moment: Training with Pei Mei

51. 28 Days Later (2003) D: Danny Boyle

My goal for this movie is to see it on a TV. Thus far I've only seen it on E-town's computer monitor. In a van. But, what I saw was undeniably brilliant filmmaking. There has been/will be a glut of zombie movie in recent/coming years, but this is yet the best. Some minor social commentary regarding the nature of humanity, but its wisely kept at bay. As with any zombie movie, there are only so many options to consider as far as plot goes, and we're given the standard package. Where this movie excels, however, is the inclusion of small details. Cillian Murphy's visit to his parents, the army guys capturing a zombie, etc...

Performance To Savor: Brenden Gleeson
Memorable Moment: Zombie on a chain

50. Spider-Man 2 (2004) D: Sam Raimi

Allow me to preface this by stating that I loved this movie. Clearly. Therefore, I am simply going to list the things I didn't like about the movie. Should be a short list.

MJ discovers that Peter Parker is Spider-Man way too soon.
Our villains are so far results of botched medical procedures. Have some different motivations, like Magneto.

That's pretty much it. I loved the music...operatic and grandiose. The special effects were top-notch. Less intusive than the original. Comic book adaptations naturally lend themselves to sequels, so the "rehashed" factor is kept to a minimum. Looking forward to Spidey 3!

Performance to Savor: Alfred Molina
Memorable Moment: Battle on Subway

Depressing Blog

Don't read this if you don't like depressing blogs. Seriously. Just letting you know. No T-Biggs today.

Alright you asked for it.










You have no one to blame but yourself.





Anyway. I'm feeling pretty bad right now. There really isn't one exact thing that is the cause of it. I'm just in a slump. As you may or may not know from Grace's blog, I'm supposed to house-sit/baby-sit for these super rich people that I normally just tutor for. So last night I had to stay up until midnight waiting for Michael (that's the kid I tutor, but now I'm baby sitting) to get home from God knows where. Oh yeah, I know where. At Murphey's. Playing poker. On the corner of Goodrich and Prior. So, I'm tired, because I didn't get much sleep, and I had a fairly busy day yesterday setting up and attending the "Tropical Meltdown", which is my dept.'s annual party celebrating student success. It was fun. I'm tired right now. So tired, I didn't even go to the gym. And I'm fairly religious about going during my lunch break during the week, so that should tell you how tired I am. But I'm not even that tired. I've been this tired before and worked out. I'm just mentally strapped. I can't really see myself lifting weights or running or anything in any meaningful way. I can't visualize it happening. And, as we all know, mental strength is a huge chunk of the pie. And I don't have any. I also let Grace down with her camera (lost the batteries), which isn't a big deal...just have to pick up more batteries. But, it was her camera and her batteries, and I needed to be more careful. My bad. So, I'm thinking about that. And, I have to go back to the Mansion tonight...and tomorrow night, and I'm just totally out of my groove. Fuck man. I get out of my groove way to easily. That's not cool. Too many "ands".